I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
