she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize