oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize