You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
