So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
