dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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