time to smoke my breakfast
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
