Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
