Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
