forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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