id be glad to
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
