Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
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