I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
