just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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