i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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