Pappa wants mamma naked
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
