just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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