One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
