the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
