I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
