I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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