with your own penis?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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