I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
