Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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