the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
