They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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