i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
