dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We got so high we made milksteak
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
