I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
