New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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