I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I wish you could order shots online.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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