Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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