he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
