Can Purell be used as lube?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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