I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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