making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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