I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
