You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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