just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
