Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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