Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
