I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
