Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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