Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
