handjob tips. give me some.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
