A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He shit in the fireplace
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
