I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
