Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
