In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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