So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
