Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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