I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
