I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm gonna have a badass scar
We named our party play list daddy issues
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
