i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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