We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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