How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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