How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
