No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
