I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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