i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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