I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
