It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
