Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
