if only i could text you this smell
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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