Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
