Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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