I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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