Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Randomize
