what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Houston, we have a squirter
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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