I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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