there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
